I love you most
You build a monster from blocks
Like the one in your closet Pieces spread around you
I will probably step on one
While you are at school
You paint a dragon’s fire
Its tail down your arm
Spatters on your shirt
That will probably stain
While in the wash
I cook, clean, drive you
I pack lunches, hold you
When you cry
Hours of homework
Where do the hours go
Sometimes there is
no time for me
Surrounded by you
When I haven’t showered, forgot to eat
Didn’t drink because your bottle was empty
And I gave you mine
I give you everything
Because you are everything
You call out, your face scrunched
startled by a dream
Sleepy eyes look into mine
And I don’t know much
When you ask me about death
Or what’s at the bottom of the ocean
I kiss your forehead and hold us close
Breathe you in, I love you most
I was scared you whisper.
I am scared too, I don’t say.
What if I’m not good enough
What if I don’t stand up for you
What if I don’t teach you what you need
then you grow up
and leave me--
when you leave me--
Maybe I could keep you little forever
Because you teach me, you need me
You show me
You are afraid about monsters and death and endings
and fall asleep anyway
You make piles and stains and don’t care
Because life is messy.
You fall and I can’t catch you
In the deep waters of life, through my fingers
But you paddle, dip down, rise up
I learn from you
In the dark of night
Through monsters and dragons
Tomorrow, let’s play in the rain.
No shoes, stomp in puddles.
Lean into the wind.
I hold you close
I love you most
These poems are part of the Cultivating Poetry Project, in which I write for those who need poems for many reasons in their lives, including those in parenthood, grief and loss, chronic pain and fatigue, and those in need of a change or healing.
All poems and images are the property of the poet, Sharon Frances.
Do not use in part or whole without permission.