clinging to worth
a vine narrowly chokes me
with doubt about
what happened when
I left myself out in the rain
When I lay on a bench
shivering and coughing
while you enjoyed the play.
I left myself out in the cold
while you stared through me
I was a patient, not a partner
The vine wraps around
my middle, thick with
age and cancer and body
Too much body
Breasts and sex and lust
never any trust
I didn't fit the mold
of a good wife,
quiet and pure
letting everything be
as you wanted
the vines wrap
around my throat
I take up too much space
you dont even look
at my face
my well is
empty of water
empty of home
LISTEN TO ME
your eyes narrow
glints of resentment
you never got what you wanted
I stood in your way:
a patient, a diseased body
a depressed soul
a pushy, selfish girl
who didn't even wait
to have sex until
I met you
ha
you never saw a
minute of me
how my leaves reach out
to give shade
my petals burst
to make laughter
my earth cools
for digging and playing
this garden
is beautiful
I AM LISTENING
TO ME
you have no power
over me
I send myself messages
of love through my roots
a network I built
to make sense of the pain
as I lay in a bed of vines
wet, clinging to worth
in the rain